The “It” Factor

photography by Sal Taylor Kydd

Some women have it, some women don’t. This is something my mom impressed upon me, and I always knew without her ever saying- she had it.

What is “it” exactly? That certain I-don’t-know-what that makes men weak in the knees? It took me years to figure out, but when I finally did, it all made sense. Killer confidence.

My mom is confident without ever being over-assuming, she’s comfortable in her own skin. She’s one beautiful lady, but it’s her spirit that makes her even more stunning. It’s no surprise she had my step-dad, Rick, hook, line and sinker, and has kept him that way for almost 20 years.

Here they are, mid-90’s, my mom in the blazer I borrowed once and never gave back. The top half to a ridiculously amazing Bebe suit, this wrap jacket is the kind of versatile piece that you can wear casually with leather leggings (which are also second hand, btw- $17 Trouvé from Buffalo Exchange) or jeans, or dress it up with skirt or pants.

Whenever I wear either piece of this suit, it takes me back to when she wore it on the regs- in the beginning of her marriage to Rick. I was pretty young, but I remember them being super cute and totally in love. It’s incredible that even almost 19 years of marriage, they are still that way. They honestly enjoy each other’s company, and our home is full of laughter and love.

By virtue of example, I’ve learned that love and marriage are all about compromise, humor, respect and most importantly, fun. My mom makes an effort to do the little things (they’re easy,after all) that make Rick happy, like keep him well stocked with Diet Coke and cookies. Though the thought of their romantic life totally grosses me out, I know there is still plenty of passion there. Whenever I catch them kissing in the kitchen, Rick’s hand on her lower back, I know he still thinks she’s got “it,” because she does.

Here’s to hoping I’ve inherited a little bit of “it,” and can one day snag me an amazing hubby like Rick. Though “it” isn’t what makes my mom an amazing wife, mother and friend, she has taught me by example that loving yourself is every bit important as loving someone else.